I think about you

Once upon a time I was sitting in Smitty's restaurant while I was supposed to be in School, and I was singing to the radio playing overhead. A gentleman was sitting at the table across from me and was laughing because I knew every word to every song. I finally got up to use the restroom and stopped to talk to him on my way back to the table. Well, ended up talking to this man and for nearly every day after that for almost 15 years. We sang songs together, ate together and drove around in his huge, old, gold Cadillac together making memories. I never realized that part until now.

Jim was one of a kind. He always complained about politics, the way people drove, and how gross it was to not wash your hands after using the toilet. He would take me to all the plays put on by my high school drama club, never missed a swim meet and even sat in the cold to watch me play field hockey. Jim was the one who showed up in a powder blue suit just to see me graduate, and who wore the tie that never matched his shirt just so he looked right for my wedding. He was always excited to see my and my kids. Jim was a friend, dad, grandfather and confidante just when I needed him the most. Many people thought our relationship odd as the age difference was so big, but if you knew Jim, you knew he was a gentleman and never needed anything more than a friend.

Over the last 5 years, Jim has struggled more than any human being should. After overcoming cancer, an aneurysm and a bad heart, he struggled through an infection and got better. Jim was the strongest man I know and after falling ill in August 2010 he was once again facing the battle of his life. He was placed in the hospital and overcame all odds to make it home 4 months later.

Hooked to oxygen and no longer able to drive, Jim had become a strong shoulder for someone else. Chris and Jim met in the hospital, and with nobody else to help him, Jim took Chris under his wing and helped him face the day. They would visit, eat together, and Jim would make sure Chris made it to therapy. After being home, I felt it important to keep contact so Jim, the kids and I would make our Saturday trips to see Chris. They kept in touch over the phone when travel became too much for Jim, but I'm glad they were able to form a bond in a short time that both men needed.

Yesterday morning I received a phone call from Jim and thought I should go for a visit. After having a great breakfast with him while chatting about everyday things, we thought it a good idea to go and see Chris. After talking to the nurse, it was decided leaving the hospital was not a great idea. We opted for going for coffee downstairs in the atrium but needed to get vital signs first. By this point Jim was starting to struggle for air and it was deemed necessary to go for a STAT chest xray. Jim got out of his chair and onto the stretcher himself. By the time he returned from xray 1/2 hour later, he couldn't get up. It was a quick downward spiral from there. The nurses gave Jim some Morphine to make him comfortable and asked that I contact his family. They came down and we all said our goodbyes. After struggling with the right decision I made my way home expecting a call in the middle of the night. The call came at 5:15am and I went back to the hospital. Jim was hanging on, but struggling with each breath. At about 6am I leaned over, gave Jim a kiss on his forehead and told him it was okay to let go. At 6:19am Jim took his last breath and slipped away from me.

On my way home from the hospital today I heard a song on the radio we used to sing together and I haven't heard in years. I think about you, By Colin Raye. Was it a sign?? Who knows.

Jim took all his knowledge, humor and comfort from me and left. He left this world not with a struggle but with a calm that I have never known. He was a wonderful man and I have wonderful memories because of it. I will never have a Starbucks coffee, see someone wearing dirty sweatpants, or see someone not wash their hands, without thinking of the friend I have lost. I am honored to have known Jim for soo many years and hope he saves a place for me wherever he is now.